The World’s Worst Blog Post

The World’s Worst Blog Post

Here at Paragraft, we work relentlessly on creating high-quality and engaging content week in, week out - and quite frankly, we’re tired.

So, today, we’re doing something a little different. The internet is full of content experts and marketing gurus claiming they hold the secrets to creating the ultimate blog post, but we can go one better. We have the secrets to creating truly bottom-of-the-barrel blog content.

Join us in exploring 4 sure-fire ways to guarantee your content always misses the mark.

Keep your language complex

One should always look to display the complexity and sophistication of their lexicon.

Regardless of your audience’s vernacular comprehension, they’re sure to be impressed by your integration of convoluted syntax and intricate vocabulary. Better yet, it’s not just your readers who will have a distinctive endearment towards your advanced proficiency - search engines are notorious for espousing this style, too!

Consequently, we recommend always referencing a thesaurus to ensure you’re delineating your argument in the most cumbersome way.

Formatting shouldn’t be consistent

When it comes to writing blog posts, formatting is overrated.

Content writers waste so much time ensuring digestible and consistent formatting across their blog posts - that’s valuable time they could be spending with their head in a thesaurus!

Typography, layout, image sizes, link formatting - do these things really matter? Nah, we don’t think so either.

At the end of the day, if readers are inclined to bounce straight back off a blog post because some text is a different size and the post layout makes it almost impossible to read, that’s their problem - not yours.

In Dead Poet’s Society, Mr Keating teaches his students the importance of the carpe diem mantra - to seize the day, to live in the here and now. Taking a leaf out of his book (and as this blog post proves, there’s plenty content marketers can learn from the Robin Williams classic), live in the moment and make formatting decisions based on how you feel at the time of writing, rather than worrying about pesky inconveniences like brand consistency and digestibility.

Here’s another point

Content writers place far too much importance on headings.

They say a snappy, eye-catching subheading can create far better flow and structure within your piece, with readers able to quickly identify what each section entails at a glance. They even say that the Google algorithm uses headings as a means of understanding the content on a page.

But what do they know?

Don’t worry about staying relevant

When writing blog posts, it’s likely that you’re starting with a working title, or at least have a general outline for the topic and argument at hand.

This can be a little restrictive, however.

Instead, we recommend just writing down anything and everything that comes to mind, regardless of its overall relevance to the piece. Going off on tangents makes for high-value, informative content that always aligns with the user intent, meaning higher levels of engagement as a result.

Think of it like writing in a stream of consciousness - a literary approach made famous by Jack Kerouac. Incidentally, On The Road is my favourite book of all time. Did you know that Kerouac is said to have written the entire book by typewriter on a single scroll and, so the story goes, in one drug-fuelled writing session? Although this old folk tale isn’t strictly true after taking into account the various redrafts and publisher amendments before the book ever hit the shelves, it’s still a great story nonetheless.

All bad blog posts end with a bad conclusion that summarises nothing. So, here we are.

If any of today’s points felt a little too close to home, it could be time to leave your content to the professionals. Why not get in touch with Paragraft to learn how we can help revitalise your business’s content today?